Last Word

Sun Herald

Sunday January 11, 2009

WILL SWANTON wswanton@sunherald.com.au

Is this the bloke who picks the team?

MERV HUGHES'S job as a tour guide is causing consternation at Cricket Australia. Hughes's outings were harmless enough when the Australian team picked itself. But selections, and the selectors, are now under the microscope. It's a bad look to have Hughes leading the charge on social excursions to overseas Test venues while doubling as a national selector. The most recent promotion for Australian Sports Tours says: "South Africa 2009 - Join Merv on Safari!" Jamie Cox's position on the panel appears to be compromised by his new role as the high-performance manager of South Australia. If he picks a Redback, he will be accused of favouritism. If he doesn't, he's trying too hard to be fair. Andrew Hilditch is pocketing $100,000 a year as chairman while trying to juggle the job with his full-time gig as a lawyer. David Boon is the only selector with whom no one has a problem.

Warney loves literature

SHANE WARNE is adamant he doesn't read stories about himself. Most athletes who say that can be found queuing at the local newsagency at the crack of dawn before running home to Google themselves. Warne was the king of the MCG and SCG during the past two Tests. Bradman used to carry a notebook and pen with him in case autograph-seeking kids didn't have any. He'd write: "Best Wishes, Don Bradman." Warne is just as popular and nearly as accommodating. But he does read his own press. He walked off his flight from Sydney to Melbourne after the SCG Test - and made a beeline for the newsagency. He scoured the papers then grabbed a women's magazine. It featured him on the cover with ex-wife Simone. He looked a bit heartbroken, shaking his head as he read every word. Bill Lawry told him to ignore it.

Bang on the money

YEARS ago, Warne was howled down for claiming Muttiah Muralitharan benefited from playing against Bangladesh so often. Warne, with a measly 11 wickets against the Bangers, was accused of sour grapes because Muralitharan was going to break his world record for most Test wickets. To steal a line from Doug Bollinger, Warne has been proved one hundred and fifty thousand per cent right. Muralitharan's past two Tests against the Bangers took his tally against them to 89. Current Test wicket standings without the wickets of Bangers: Warne 697, Muralitharan 680.

Proteas' party boys

FANIE DE VILLIERS on his memories of the South African dressing room: "We'd have the party animals in one corner of the room. Pat Symcox used to be there and they were always smoking and drinking and it was an absolute nightmare. I remember when Herschelle Gibbs first joined the team. He became president of that corner." Gibbs makes his first appearance of the summer against Australia in the Twenty20 slogfest at the MCG tonight.

Those were the days ...

STUART MacGILL on the NSW and Australia dressing rooms: "I played over a period where things changed dramatically. I started off when everyone in the Australian room was in the Pat Symcox corner. It was a fun place to be. When I first played for NSW it was very much the same. Unfortunately, the guys who party the hardest don't play the hardest. Nowadays, there's so much money in sport, the percentages come into it. To a certain degree I'm quite pleased I had a bit of both. I liked the party days better than the professional days because it's a more balanced lifestyle. Funnily enough, what stunts the young kids professionally these days is that they don't have balanced lives. You can't just live your sport. I'd try to drag them out. I'd organise a team dinner for NSW and unless there was food on the table at 6.30, they didn't want to do it. They'd be back playing cricket on the PlayStation at 8.30, worrying themselves sick about the opposition bowlers till four o'clock in the morning. I enjoyed the old days better."

Time is right for Warner

NSW are convinced Phil Jaques will tour South Africa so he can breathe down Matthew Hayden's neck morning, noon and night. The Blues then plan to unleash the most explosive opening partnership in years: Phil Hughes and Twenty20 phenomenon David Warner. NSW need to give Warner a start in the Sheffield Shield sooner rather than later. Test cricket is his ultimate ambition and if the Blues keep him out of the first-class arena much longer, other states will start circling. NSW coach Matthew Mott says Warner's time is nigh.

Day-night drivel

DECADES ago, a rugby league reporter was asked to name the source of a story he had written about Balmain great Keith Barnes being recruited by Eastern Suburbs. He said he could do no such thing. Asked why, he replied: "Made it up!" A similarly fictional story appeared on the front page of another newspaper recently stating the Adelaide Test would be a day-nighter. Officials investigated how such a wildly inaccurate story could have been written. They learned it stemmed from eavesdropping on a conversation involving a couple of blokes at a bar. The newspaper was told by Cricket Australia that the story was wrong, but they ran with it anyway. Made it up! The first day-night Test will be the following summer.

Pat's art of choking

A documentary on the history of Australian tennis reveals how Pat Rafter perfected the art of choking. The trick was to choke so early in a match that he had time to come back and win. Rafter sat at a change of ends after blowing the second set of a Davis Cup match to Cedric Pioline in Sydney and started apologising to captain John Newcombe for "the worst choke ever". Newcombe blew his stack. He told Rafter to stop being such a sook. Rafter roared home to win in five sets. The documentary also says the worthiness of Rod Laver's two grand slams is questioned by the man himself because a smattering of the world's best players were absent when he won them both.

Alien tennis

CHANNEL Seven is covering the summer of tennis from outer space. Nothing else could explain the bizarre camera angle they've employed during the Brisbane International. The players and court appear to be light years away. Alicia Molik wants to work with Tennis Australia in a coaching capacity, but TA is yet to accommodate her. Manufacturers of the old Rebound Ace courts at the Australian Open are praying for one scorching day during the tournament. They believe the new American courts will melt in the heat but last year's event came and went without the traditional furnace.

No money, no balls

TENNIS Australia has scrapped the $60 per diem for ballboys and girls at the Australian Open. Parents will now have to fork out for their kids to do the job. And TA has sacked its racquet-stringing provider, TopServe. Wilson has received the contract to perform the 3000-odd restrings during the Open. Stringers are supposed to be independent. Roger Federer is sponsored by Wilson. Rafael Nadal uses Babolat. Will Nadal's racquet receive as much care as Federer's? TopServe managing director Ron Kohn says: "Tennis Australia are just skimping on the cash. Wilson make racquets. They are not a service string provider. They'll be using yum-cha stringing machines out of China."

THE INVISIBLE MAN

WESTERN AUSTRALIA crowed about luring Mitchell Johnson from Queensland at the start of the season. Three weeks after promising to stay with the Bulls, the left-arm Test paceman moved to Perth to live with his partner, former Australian karate champion Jessica Bratich, related to neither Nathan Bracken nor Simon Katich, and represent WA. Not that it has mattered. Johnson's wicket tally for WA this season is nil. His total number of balls bowled is nil. And that's the way it will stay. When Johnson isn't playing for Australia he is ordered to rest.

Danny Weidler is on holidays.

© 2009 Sun Herald

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